On a side note, I have to share a good story about the middle with y’all. As I previously mentioned, if there is anything related to the middle, it will likely happen to me. This really is my lot in life, and I’ve accepted it. Now, I can make fun of the irony in the situation.
Several years ago, (before we adopted our youngest son) I did some traveling for work. I wasn’t quite in the middle yet, so I was still very much enjoying my twenties. That also means I didn’t always make the wisest decisions. Naturally, it would make sense that my next sentence starts with “Ok, so I was hungover.”
Ok, so I was hungover, and not just a little bit either my friends….nope I was all in. I was full blown headache, sunglasses, and headphones, kind of hungover. I was holding the barf bag kind of hungover…..when I had to board a plane home from a trip. I carefully made my way down the isle to find my seat. Just my f*cking luck….it’s the middle seat. I stow my backpack, grab my barf bag, and scoot my butt as far down on the seat as I can. I extend my legs and cross my feet, so they are straight out in front of me. Carefully, I fold my hands, one on top of the other. So that in my slumber, I won’t accidentally whack my neighbors. I lay my head back and let myself drift off to dream land. Dream land?! Who the hell am I kidding, I passed out because I had 2 hours of sleep and I was probably still drunk.
I was awakened to the loud screech of the tires squealing against the hot pavement. We had landed….wait…we landed?! We just took off?! I wracked my brain for a moment, confused as to what just happened. I lifted my head, that was pressed heavily against the shoulder of the man to my left. I could feel the imprint of his shirt collar against my cheek, as I quickly wiped my hand across my face. I had to wipe the drool that was coming from my chin….😳😳 That’s right. I was drooling. I hadn’t fully raised my head yet and I could see a small wet spot on the mans shirt from my slobber. F*cking great, I thought to myself. I just passed out on this poor man for TWO HOURS!! Y’all…..it’s bad enough that I passed out on his shoulder, it’s worse that I drooled on him, but it’s even worse that I snore!! That’s right friends, when I’m drunk or very tired, I will snore. Loud and proud….like a freight train. It’s not the least bit attractive. Nothing about this was attractive. This was……absolutely horrible.
I composed myself and quietly mustered out “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I avoided eye contact and hoped he’d stand up to get his bags and just ignore me. Nope, instead he looks me squarely in the eye and says, “It’s ok sweetie, I have a daughter about your age. You looked so peaceful sleeping, I didn’t have the heart to wake you.” I’m like “Yea, that’s great but I drooled on you. I am so sorry, that’s so gross!” The nice man just laughed and said “Ha, I ain’t worried about that young lady. Do you feel better?”
I did feel better. I felt rested from my nap, I felt a little less embarrassed, and I felt relieved that this man wasn’t creeped out by me. Maybe he was a creeper? Maybe he enjoyed it? Perhaps he has people in his basement? 🙄😳🤷🏻♀️
Or maybe he’s just a nice guy. Shoutout to the nice man on the airplane that day. You were a hero!
The Mommy Chronicles 