He’s defective…..I’d like a refund.

It’s been awhile since I’ve updated you all on the freeloaders, so lets catch up. Grab a cup of coffee, have a seat, and let me tell you a story about how incredibly dumb I am. It will be fun, settle in friends.

Alright, so you all know that our sweet Bailey had 8 adorable puppies. The little freeloaders came into our life like a whirlwind. We’ve never reared puppies before, hell….I’ve never seen a dog give birth until this litter….so we may have been a tad bit underprepared. Oh hell, let’s just be real…we’re all friends here right? We had no clue what we were doing and it was a shit show, but we managed.

We found amazing homes for 7 out of our 8 puppies. They all went to our friends and family. We have a Facebook group to share pictures and stories. A few of the owners even get the puppies together for play dates….it really is a beautiful thing. It will give you all the feels. However……one lonely little puppy didn’t find a home. We talked to everyone we knew, we posted him online, we shared his face with everyone who would look. No one seemed to be interested in him.

He’s not particularly outstanding. He’s an average sized puppy, solid black with a few white markings. He wasn’t the overly obnoxious one, or the loud one, or the adventurous one. Think “Average Andy” from the Ellen show. That’s this little guy. In fact, most of the litter had nicknames given to them by us. There was Tank, the town crier, the smart one, the runt…..and then this guy. We called him the little black boy, due to his color and his solid black collar to help identify him from the others.

This past Sunday, we went to church and then we took him with us to watch the Chief’s game with some friends. I felt bad that he was in his crate all morning, so he rode in the back seat with my youngest son. They snuggled….bonded….and I could see the look of “want” on his face. My husband and I joked about calling him Chief and then proceeded to remind the kids that we were NOT keeping him. He was only coming along for the day, so he wasn’t stuck in the crate. “Stay strong, do not cave! We don’t need another dog!” I reminded myself as I stared at my son, who longingly held the puppy in his arms. I knew this wouldn’t be easy…..even I wanted to keep him when I saw him snuggled next to my littlest minion. That’s because I am an idiot my friends….

I stayed strong though! I did not give in to the sad eyes from my kids!! It was incredible…..and I was so proud. 😇 My husband on the other hand, was not so strong….after a few beers and some football, the kids came inside to tell me that Andrew said they could keep him!!! They excitedly told me they had named him Chief. Awesome…..I can’t wait to take care of him, I thought to myself. 🙄

We brought him home and told the kids he is their responsibility. Just like we said about the bird that I feed or the lizard I have to remind them to feed, or the gerbil who never gets his cage cleaned until it smells. Clearly this was going to work well for us. Never the less, the kids were excited and I am not one to go back on our word….so it looks like we were going to make the most of it.

Meet Chief

Day 1 went great. We brought him inside the house, the boys watched him and cleaned up after him. They played with him and he didn’t have any accidents inside the house. It was great news for my husband, who was afraid he would be sleeping in the doghouse with the puppy after he agreed to keep him without consulting me. The more good days this dog has, the more good days my husband will have. You see….every time the dog pees in the house or chews something up…..I will remind him that he agreed to this…..for the rest of his life. It’s my duty as his wife, to remind him of his poor life choices, so he doesn’t repeat them.

Day 2 was all me though. The kids went to school, the husband went to work and I stayed here to manage the funny farm. I work from home, so I’m here all the time. I got up early, took a shower, got dressed, got the puppy and started work. I totally have this, I thought to myself. I’ve trained dogs before, it will be fine. We’ve got 2 other dogs, what’s one more?

Can I just say how wrong I was? This dog should have been named Jaws. In the course of 3 minutes….he managed to chew my laptop cord in half. He then went on to eat my cell phone charger, and finished his day by chewing through the cord that plugs in the Wi-Fi router. As if that isn’t enough, he also loves to chew on wood. The legs of my chairs, the end table, the bottom shelf of the coffee table….anything his tiny little razor teeth can grab onto is fair game. 🤦🏻‍♀️😤

The laptop cord was the first to go. No worries asshole, it’s not like I need that to work and pay for food for your freeloading self. 😤
What’s left of the cell phone charger. 🙄
The final straw….the cord to my google nest. 🤬

Day 2…..the day I was in charge of him….was a disaster my friends. When my family arrived home, I proceeded to tell them all the things he’d chewed up. I threatened to rehome him, I yelled a little, and I cussed a little. This damn dog was defective…..he was going to have to be rehomed.

But then, I sat down and watched B play with him. My youngest son was adopted, so we’ve had many emotional challenges with him through the years. He struggled to form close relationships for a time, and has always been one that had a hard time with empathy. This dog though, has given him something to own. He’s taken it on and decided he wants to train him. He feeds him, changes his puppy pads, cleans up after him and chases him around the yard. He doesn’t complain, he doesn’t roll his eyes, he just gets up and does it. Then he reminds me how thankful he is that we were able to keep him. This damn dog is good for him guys. He needs this right now……as much as I may want to get rid of him….my little minion needs him.

So here we are….on day 3. Just me and the defective dog, hanging out. Today, Andrew blocked off all the entrances that lead to “behind the couches”. I pulled the dogs toy basket out into the middle of the floor, so he has all the toys. I showed him 3 different bones, we played rope for 15 minutes, we walked around the house twice in hopes he would sleep and so far….it’s working. So far…he hasn’t chewed on any cords, he hasn’t peed in the house, and I haven’t had to cuss yet today. So far….today is a good day.

He naps with his tongue out…..ok, he’s a little cute. 🙄

Please send prayers and good vibes our way as we navigate life with another freeloader. Also if you’d like to donate any charging cables to our home, just let me know. 😉

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